it didn't take long for problems to surface and shatter the magical honeymoon feeling here in hawaii.. i initially thought that there shouldn't be any problem that are big enough to knock me off my positive enthusiasm.. i was greatly humbled..
it's been a week since i moved out of the temp housing to YMCA (my current housing). the friends i have made at the temp housing are all staying in the dorms on campus. they are quite far from me so we don't hang out as often. i didn't think much of it because i look forward to meet new ppl. it was my assumption that the koreans staying at YMCA would be as friendly and fun as those i have met. i was wrong. each time i try to be around them and enter their group of 3, i find myself struggling to even be noticed. they continued to converse in korean and usually go off by themselves without telling me.
now don't get me wrong. i don't blame them nor do i harbour any bitterness. if fact i'm thankful i could share a bit of my thoughts with one of them last night. but i grew to realise i guess they are just very comfortable being together and as much as i try, i can't change the fact that it takes 2 hands to clap..
what does this experience mean for me? i remember how a fren told me that I should not beat myself up for wanting to fit in but not being able to because humans are social creatures after all. i guess it's part of God's learning plan for me here. it doesn't mean i am now lonely and sad (in case u have that picture). there are still many nice ppl around me that God has blessed me with. i am just affected to see how sometimes ppl (including myself) can be so exclusive. how horrible if the church is like that!
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